Dear Person knocking next door, 

An apartment is not that big.  In fact it is an open plan two bedroom.  
If they are home I am sure thye would have heard you knock the first time.  Or the second, or third.  And they would have answered the door.

Considering you have now been knocking for four minutes, maybe they are not home.

Love, Person who has to listen

P.S It is 11:17 on a Sunday night, why are you visiting
P.P.S Preeety sure my next door neighbours are drug dealers

I really do not understand, I just read an assignment where a student said:

Obviously gay people have gays kids and straight people have straight kids.

Do they not understand anything?

-being considered a ‘cool teacher’ because I knew what DTF means, and thus have seen Jersey Shore.

-the year 9 girl screaming at the boys how she was DTF.

-I have been hit with at least 25 bits of paper already.

-the lunchtime where the English staffroom had a massive discussion on who the hottest boys in Year 12 are (yep, even the two men).

-the next lunchtime, which was spent discussing the attractiveness of the executive staff.